I’ve heard of The Morning After Pill, but THIS is pure genius…
It’s the little things in life that often make me laugh the hardest. And last week, while checking out some new lip colors at my favorite makeup counter, I came across this hilarious hue and just about peed my pants:
Wanna hear the best part? No one at Clinique seems to be reading this like I did. They all see the 4th lipstick in their new spring line named After Party which happens to have a High Impact and High Volume color.
I, on the other hand, see an excuse to walk up to every Clinique counter I can find and ask for the lipstick that’ll prevent AIDS if I get a little carried away at a party or two this weekend.
1greg reynolds
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 9:03
I can see this turning into another law suit like the McDonalds coffee being too hot!
2Mai
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 9:04
…or the phone sex operator who sued in attempts to have Workman’s Comp pay for her carpel tunnel syndrome surgery (let that one dance around in your head). I wonder if people are this dumb in other countries or if this kind of suing ludicrousness is only indigenous to America. Get on it, Greg… I expect a report on my desk by Monday
3Carrie
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 10:58
Too funny.. What will they think of next??!!
4Mai
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 10:59
I think the problem is they weren’t thinking… so I can’t wait to see what they *don’t* think of next, haha.
5Keith
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 12:10
I think Clinique can run with this…..They can make a fortune marketing it as lipstick that keeps you from contracting HIV through oral sex……Genius!!!!!
PS – I already sent my resume into the Clinique marketing dept
6Mai
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 12:11
Good for you being one step ahead of the game. See? Budding jobs around every corner… it’s not a crappy economy if you’re creative
7Mai
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 14:22
Go ask for it! Tell them the chick from theLOLblog sent ya’
8Amelia
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 15:56
Ok that was funny! I can just imagine the girl’s face when you asked that!
9Mai
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 15:57
I aim to please
10Ali
wrote on 7 April 2009 at 14:21
LMAO.
I fucking want some!
11Keith
wrote on 8 April 2009 at 2:32
That is the lipstick you get after the “unprotected” after party
12Mai
wrote on 8 April 2009 at 2:42
…or before. You know, just in case.
13Ciara
wrote on 10 April 2009 at 9:34
I totally want to youtube this.. Ill run up to a counter in a panic like I just had an oops weekend.. hahaha
14Mai
wrote on 10 April 2009 at 9:35
If you film it, they will come. Well, I will anyway… and I’ll post that sh*t up, too!!!
15Karen
wrote on 11 April 2009 at 11:40
Perhaps she should run up to the counter wearing a stache as well?
16Mai
wrote on 11 April 2009 at 11:41
See? This is what I love about doing what I do… the sense of community. Would it have been a funny YouTube video for the site? Of course! But would she have thought to wear a stache throughout the filming? Doubt it. And sooooo much laughter could have been missed out on! Hmmm… maybe we should run some trials. Some on, some off… different states, different counters. This could be fantabulous…
17Tina
wrote on 12 April 2009 at 15:32
Hahaha…that’s exactly how I read it!
18Mai
wrote on 12 April 2009 at 15:33
Great minds think alike
19Diana
wrote on 13 April 2009 at 15:16
And that’s how I became infected…goddamn lipstick…they told me I couldn’t catch it from kissing
20Mai
wrote on 13 April 2009 at 15:17
Such a shame… perhaps there’s an antidote mascara somewhere. We’ll have to check the Estee Lauder counter…
21chowner
wrote on 20 April 2009 at 11:40
That’s definitely what I’m looking for after the party, a little HIV action.
What are numbers 1-3 in the line: Cancer, MS, Parkinsons?
22Mai
wrote on 20 April 2009 at 11:41
Actually, its a complete STD line; just in time for Spring fever. The first is for Chlamydia, the second for HPV, and the third is a catch all to treat HerpaGonoSyphalitis (its a very common shade amongst the “ladies of the night”).
23Clinique Consultant
wrote on 23 April 2009 at 5:24
It reads HI-V, not H.I.V. The HI-V stands for “High Impact” which means that it is a long-lasting formula containing SPF 15. This line of lipsticks was launched in the summer of 2008. The V stands for violet, meaning that it has a violet undertone, even though it is in fact a red colored lipstick. The number 4 corresponds to the skin-coloring system. “Very Fair” skinned people are #1’s, “Moderately Fair” skinned people are #2’s, “Medium” skinned people are #3’s and “Dark/Olive” skinned people are #4’s. That number 4 indicates that that particular shade is MOST flattering for someone who has a “Dark/Olive” complexion.
I would know. I work for Clinique. However, I prefer M.A.C. lipstick over Clinique ANY day because M.A.C. Viva Glam lipstick donates 100% of the proceeds to A.I.D.S. research. And FYI: Jokes about A.I.D.S. and H.I.V. are never funny.
24Mai
wrote on 23 April 2009 at 5:25
Well, thank you SO MUCH for that very detailed explanation of the lipstick label. I asked my counter girls twice what everything meant, and the description they gave me is what I gave here. To think that people who sold the products wouldn’t understand their own labeling process was not a notion I’d entertained. So again, thank you for setting their story right.
…As for generalizing that jokes about any specific subject not being funny, as much as you have the right to say pretty much anything you’d like, taking on the comedic opinions of a every audience member alive is a bit pretentious, wouldn’t you say? I personally believe that jokes inadvertently involving rape, child molestation and/or their attackers (or any form of child abuse), severely disturbed behavioral health patients, embarrassment driven ridicule and even flatulence NEVER to be funny. I actually find them to be pathetic and of poor taste. But that doesn’t mean that no one laughs at them. I hear it happen all the time. Clearly, those jokes are just not for me. So I move on with myself and find some that are.
…No comedian alive can please everyone. Comedians just aim to please and hope for the best that their jokes can brighten a large group of people’s days. And this is how it works with most careers who depend on the public. I’m sure you’ve put a palette of makeup on womens’ faces in the past to see them look 10 times better than they did when they walked up to your counter, to then watch them completely disagree with you and perhaps even scoff that they feel “painted up” and therefore purchase nothing. Does that mean you did a bad job? Not at all. Your preferences just didn’t match or exceed their desired expectations.
…I encourage you to peruse through the rest of my website. There’s pretty much something for everyone here. If you don’t agree, then again, I thank you for stopping by and setting my Clinique Counter Girls’ story straight. And I wish you the best in life and hope someone else out there quickly does a better job than I at making you laugh. You’ve earned it… just like everyone else.
25Mai
wrote on 23 April 2009 at 12:10
And for the record, No. I don’t choose the avatars. They’re automatically generated and assigned to each email address entered. Sometimes they’re hilarious, sometimes they’re kinda boring, and sometimes they’re all to fitting. But it’s a total coincidence if your assigned avatar happens to look like you. They sure nailed my heart shaped face and blown pupil. They even got the right eye!! I wonder how they knew I’d recently changed over to a green palette with my makeup… hmmm…
26Keith
wrote on 25 April 2009 at 11:23
Maybe the “Clinique” girl should lighten up. Afterall, a good rule of thumb for marketing is that a product shouldn’t need THAT much explaination.
You do realize this is the “LOL” blog right?…..And as such is intended to make people “LAUGH OUT LOUD” and be funny to fair skinned, medium skinned, and dark / olive skinned alike!!!
And BTW………
Flatulence = Funny!!!!!
27Mai
wrote on 25 April 2009 at 11:24
Everyone’s got a right to their opinion. Thanks for sharing yours, too
28amy
wrote on 29 October 2009 at 20:18
I too have worked for clinique. and sure, all this has code and meaning. …
BUT COME ON! What Mai has found here his hilarious! AND even a clinique consultant should see the humor in this and not be offended! ITs friggen hilarious. I want a tube. Who wants my sale for the commission. the first consultant to laugh gets my business!
29Mai
wrote on 29 October 2009 at 20:51
See? Amy gets it!
It’s not rocket science; it’s friggin hilarious!!! Haha… thanks for the support!!!
30Kyle Clark
wrote on 20 November 2009 at 20:41
Mai all I can say is priceless! Yor a character and that will never change. Hope your doing well!
31Mai
wrote on 20 November 2009 at 21:00
Hey Kyle!! Thank you, haha! I am doing well; I hope you are too!! Thanks for stopping by! I hope you hang around for more laughs